Epic (fail) night.

Who ends up in the emergency room at 2:30am this morning? That would be me. Let me back up…

I had been feeling kind of “off” yesterday, but nothing kept me from continuing with my day…classes all day + six mile run. I got home and cooked dinner…a pretty darn good dinner, too…I mean its not every single night that I cook dinner. So around 8pm I was laying on my bed doing schoolwork, and it felt like my chest was tight…and I was slightly short of breath. And I still just felt off. I was worrying myself at this point because I started Googling symptoms…yeah, that usually ends badly. So now my heart rate feels elevated and I hate that I’m in the townhouse alone right then, because what if I like pass out or something? Yeah I told you I was freaking out/thinking worst-case scenario possibilities. So I kept myself occupied doing work and continued to freak out. I was wondering if I should…go to the hospital. I mean, if it were a cardiac problem…better safe than sorry.

So as I was shaking and probably having something similar to an anxiety attack, I called my mom…I told her I didn’t feel well but it was probably just anxiety…from what, I have no clue. I didn’t even mention the hospital part…because there was no need to worry her as well…although I would have LOVED to have been at home being taken care of by my family instead of being 5 hours away at this point. But we talked for a while and I started to feel better…we talked it over and I decided to take an “early” weekend and drive home for a few days. Thought maybe I was stressed and a break would make me feel better. Uhhuh. SO I was feeling better somewhat after I got off the phone with my mama and decided to write a paper early since I wouldn’t be in class on Thursday to turn it in. I was awake until about 1:45am writing, and then finally I got in bed. I felt the chest pains/tightness again, shortness of breath, and it just felt like my heart was racing…needless to say, I couldn’t sleep. Then I convinced myself that my arm was a little numb, which honestly terrified me. I’m totally healthy…or so I had thought. But yet I still convinced myself that I could be having heart problems.

I absolutely couldn’t sleep, so I did what any rational (ha ha) person would do…went to the emergency room. I drove myself there at 2:30 in the morning in the rain…probably not the best idea, but I like to think I’m tough. ha. I didn’t tell my parents or boyfriend because I knew they were asleep…I definitely didn’t want to scare anyone, especially if it turned out to be nothing. So I got to the ER and was taken back very quickly (if you need to go the ER, I recommend 3am…ha). They checked my BP and asked a bunch of questions, then listened to my heartbeat, etc. It sounded “normal” but they decided to do an EKG and chest xrays, too. The EKG showed that indeed, I had a “textbook perfect” heart rate pattern. Sigh of relief. Then the chest xrays…the doc comes in and says exactly this: “Well, you certainly aren’t crazy.” Turns out, I had a bleb(?) that ruptured in an air cell of my left lung….apparently a very common thing that happens…especially in people that had asthma at some point (I did as a young child). It causes chest pains/tightness and shortness of breath. And the “racing heartbeat” that I felt was just my imagination, because multiple tests showed my perfectly normal HR. Sooo, that was an experience. I was actually proud of myself for sucking it up and going to the ER on my own even though I was terrified. The moral to this story is…if you feel like something isn’t right, well it probably isn’t. And even if it turns out to be nothing, its better to be safe than sorry. In retrospect, I should have gone to the ER after I felt chest pains the first time. If it *were* a heart problem, then its extremely important to seek medical attention immediately. You shouldn’t waste any time! The doctors and nurses were so so so nice and friendly, and I felt so comfortable and at ease with them. In fact, once I entered the hospital, I felt a little bit better right away. I think it was the fact that I knew I was in a place where I could get medical attention if something were to actually be seriously wrong.

The exciting part came this morning (after 5 hours of sleep) when I got to explain the story to the boy….who was (rightfully) terrified. I had to reassure him that it was nothing serious and I was fine, minus a little chest pain. Then I got ready and drove home on 5 hours of sleep…I’m such a trooper. I didn’t mention the ER visit to the folks ’til I got home. I wanted them to see that I was fine in person before I told them so they wouldn’t worry the entire 5 hours that I was driving home! I was actually kind of nervous to tell them, because its almost like keeping a big secret you know? Going to the ER, alone, in the middle of the night? No one knew that I was there? Probably another bad judgment call on my part. I’ll know better for next time…hopefully there won’t BE a next time at the ER though! I’ve only been to the ER twice in my life (this morning’s visit was the 2nd…the first time I went I was only 6!). How many times, if any, have you been to the ER?

-xoxo

A little burned out

Its finally the home stretch…a month of classes left and then just waiting around for Graduation Day to get here…sooo ready! I’ve finally figured out how to spread the last of my schoolwork/projects out across the month of April, so I shouldn’t have to worry about too much s-t-r-e-s-s anymore, thank goodness :) I woke up this morning absolutely dreading classes or anything pertaining to school…and I realized that graduation really couldn’t get here at a better time. I seriously feel burned out from college and I would probably want to just give up now if I knew I still had a year to go…ha ha! But really, I’m so so so glad to be graduating from this place…for more than one reason. I will say that I probably won’t be visiting the ‘Burg ANYtime soon….as in probably years after I graduate. I just never really fell in love with this place, and while I’ve met some really great people, I prefer my friends from home. That sounds pretty harsh….but so true. haha. I’ve found that a lot of people here just are different than what I’m used to. I’m from a Southern town with real hospitality, and that is severely lacking here.

I recently was accepted to a great law school, but the stipulation is that I would have to attend a summer program for 7 weeks. This is a very good school, and I feel the most positive about this one out of all the schools I’ve been accepted to. However, I would not be at home for most of the summer (the school is 3 hours away), and I would not be able to work my summer job…which means no $$$. I’m not sure yet what I should do…its so tempting….but I’m not sure if I can be dedicated enough to take two law courses over the summer beginning a week after college graduation. I’m sure it is an excellent opportunity…its definitely something I need to think about. This morning when I woke up not wanting to go to classes, I thought about how I could potentially be taking law classes less than two weeks after I finish college, and it made me feel even more burned out honestly. haha. Definitely need to put more thought into this! ;)

-xoxo

Time Flies

I can’t believe we are in the 5th week of classes already…its going by so quickly and graduation is right around the corner! I cannot wait :) I was just thinking about how stressed I am this week…but in less than 3 months it will all be worth it. Bring on the schoolwork and exams. Let’s do this ;)

I officially dropped my French minor today…it was a little sad admittedly, mostly because my French advisor is sooo nice and I know she wished I wasn’t dropping the minor! But that’s one less thing to worry about now, and I can officially graduate in May :) To be honest, I’ve really enjoyed not dealing with the stresses of Advanced French courses…it was so time consuming last year, and its nice to have more time this semester to focus on other things.

Stress, though, is still a part of my life. ha ha. Especially this week–I have three mid-term exams on Thursday. How is it that every single Political Science class I have happens to have exams on the same day?! Go figure…I should probably be studying right now, but One Tree Hill is calling my name ;) Does anyone else have a hard time making yourself sit down and study for hours at a time? Or is it just me…haha…

-xoxo

Lovely weekend :)

This past weekend was really great…and I got so much done too! :) Friday evening, my boyfriend & I went to his aunt’s 50th Surprise Party…I’m beginning to think those 50th suprises are a trend! ;) After that, I went home and started preparing for my three Finals. No breaks for me!

Saturday, I got to spend some time with my Mama while we went shopping for Christmas cards, things to make Cinnamon ornaments (which turned out great!), and of course, a stop at Starbucks! I think its becoming an unhealthy (i.e. expensive) habit, but its one I am not willing to give up! Later, my boyfriend & I met up for dinner with one of our really good friends and her boyfriend. It was so nice to see each other, and I think the night was great :)

Sunday is usually always my day to devote to schoolwork, but since the semester is over except for exams, I didn’t really have to dedicate the whole day to doing work for once! I helped make the Cinnamon ornaments for the tree (the recipe can be found here), signed the family Christmas cards (I always get this task for some reason…haha), and got to watch “Christmas Vacation” with the fam! If you know my family, you know that is THE movie of the holidays! :)

One exam out of the way as of Mondayyyyy, and two more to go…I wrote 4.5 pages of an 8-page paper that is due Friday, so I’m not feeling too stressed…yet! Looks like Wednesday is going to be shopping day (yes, a little behind on that…haha)! Can’t wait :)

Pretty ornaments that are super easy to make :)

-xoxo